Incredible Tabloids

Archives : June 2009

Friday 26 June 2009

Bride-to-be spots fiance in adult film

A Bristol woman has cancelled her wedding just four weeks before the big day, after discovering that her husband-to-be was a porn star. Haylie Hicking, 30, was set for a dream wedding, complete with horse-drawn carriage and £800 dress, when a friend organising her hen night searched online for a stripper, and found an explicit clip of the fiancé, Jason Brake, 30, with another woman. Brake, a fitness instructor, had often gone away for weekends, saying he was holding training sessions with clients. When confronted, he admitted his secret job, but said that it was “only acting”. He added: “I would have told you about it but you never asked me.”

Friday 26 June 2009

Man Poses as Dead Mom to Collect Benefits

Thomas Prusik-Parkin, a New Yorker, has been arrested for impersonating his dead mother, in order to steal a total of $115,000 in benefits. Prusik-Parkin is accused by prosecutors of concealing his mother’s death from social security, and dressing up in a wig, sunglasses and heavy make-up (above), to con officials, collect cheques and even appear in court. In his defence, he explained to police: “I held my mother when she was dying and breathed in her last breath, so I am my mother.”

Friday 26 June 2009

Man digs 50 foot hole to fish -  in his kitchen

A Chinese man has dug a 50ft hole in his kitchen in order to go fishing. Li Huiyan of Chongqing hired 30 villagers to dig down under his house, to reach an underground river which was built over when a new road was constructed 30 years ago. He says that the effort was well worth it: he found the river, and has since netted £2,000 worth of fish.

Friday 19 June 2009

World nettle eating championship ends with a sting

This year’s World Nettle Eating Championships ended in a draw after the two winning contestants munched their way through 48ft of stinging nettles (measured stalk on stalk). The contest, held since 1986 in the Dorset village of Marshwood, attracts entrants from around the world: they have an hour to eat as many raw nettles as possible. “They taste totally foul and everything comes out bright green for a few days afterwards,” says world record holder Simon Slee, whose record is 76ft.

Friday 19 June 2009

German town foxed by shoe thief

For more than a year, the inhabitants of the small German town of Föhren have been trying to identify the thief who keeps stealing shoes and boots from their doorsteps and backyards. Now they have finally nailed the culprit – a vixen with an Imelda Marcos complex. The mystery was solved when a forester found footwear strewn around the entrance of the fox’s den, and a stash of 120 shoes inside.

Friday 19 June 2009

72-year-old woman tasered in Texas

A great-grandmother is threatening to sue police in Texas for using excessive violence against her. Kathryn Winkfein, 72, was pulled over for speeding, refused to accept a ticket and became abusive. “Step back or you’re gonna be Tased, ma’am,” warned the officer. “Go ahead, Tase me. I dare you,” she is seen to reply in video footage of the incident. The officer then knocked her to the ground with a jolt of electricity from his stun gun. “She was using language I wouldn’t expect any woman to use,” said Precinct 3 Sgt Major Gary Griffin, “let alone a 72-year-old woman.”

Friday 12 June 2009

Gay Penguins Rear Their Own Chick

Two gay penguins at a German zoo have become adoptive parents. Z and Vielpunkt, who are part of a small community of gay Humboldt penguins at Bremerhaven Zoo, were given an egg that had been abandoned by its mother. The pair success-fully hatched the egg, and are now rearing the chick together. “They are behaving in the same way as one would expect a heterosexual couple to,” said a zoo spokesman.

Friday 12 June 2009

Tourist Chad Vance clung to Ghan train for two hours

An American tourist clung to the outside of a train for two and a half hours while it travelled through the Australian outback at speeds of up to 70mph. Chad Vance had got off the train to stretch his legs during a briefstop on the journey from Adelaide to Darwin. When it started moving away he flung himself on to a small plat-form between carriages, but could not get inside the train. He was only rescued when Marty Wells, the train technician, heard his desperate cries for help. “Chad is a very lucky guy,” said Mr Wells. “When we rescued him his skin was white and his lips were blue.”

Friday 12 June 2009

A terrible case of pins and needles

Doctors in China have removed more than 100 needles that were hidden under a patient’s skin. Liu Lijian, 46, went to hospital in Ezhou, eastern China, complaining of shooting pains. An X-ray showed that he was littered with needles across every part of his body except his head. Mr Lijian says he used to play with needles as a child, but doesn’t remember sticking them under his skin.

Thursday 04 June 2009

Johnny “Sue-nami” Riches sues Guinness Book of Records

“Sue-per-man” Jonathan Lee Riches - identified as the most liti-gious man in history by the Guinness Book of Records – is threatening to sue the Guinness Book of Records. Riches, who has filed more than 4,000 lawsuits against parties including Britney Spears and Nostradamus, insists that Guinness has defamed him by awarding him the world record.

Thursday 04 June 2009

Winning Whiskers

A man who wove his beard into the latticed form of a traditional snowshoe was named overall champion at this year’s World Beard and Moustache Championships in Anchorage, Alaska. David Traver, 43, a local man, also won in the full-beard freestyle category - making history as the first non-German to do so.

Thursday 04 June 2009

Pensioner banned from Mecca Bingo clubs

A pensioner has had her membership of Mecca bingo club cancelled and been barred from all 100 of its outlets, because she visited a rival bingo club. Rosalyn Clemson, 76, usually plays in the Mecca hall opposite her home in Chester, but was spotted making a rare excursion to Club 2000 Bingo - thus breaking Mecca’s strict membership rules. “It’s so unfair,” she mourned. “They have taken away everything I love.”

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